The Waiting

     Life throws many difficult situations at us. Time and time again we adjust, cope, and survive these situations. Our very existence as a human race is proof of this. We spend most of our lives encountering uncertainties and yet there is one aspect that never ceases to phase me; the waiting. Whether you're anticipating a major life change or expecting an exciting package in the mail, waiting can be one of the most difficult human experiences. The last year of my life has been nothing but waiting; waiting for the pandemic to end, waiting for circumstances to change, waiting to get my life back on track. 

   For the last couple of months, I've been waiting to find out some really important news. This news could dictate my entire future. How can a person cope with this kind of pressure? I have no idea. At times it has driven me insane and sent my thoughts spiraling. Lately, I've tried a multitude of distractions in an attempt to alleviate the anxiety. Unfortunately, no matter how many movies I watch or how many crafts I make, the waiting still prevails. 

    Now that it's March, I am mere days away from receiving this news- days from finding out what my future holds. The hardest part of waiting is staying optimistic. Two paths present themselves and they appear very black and white: one path will lead me to the education, career, and life that I want; the other- a labyrinth. As melodramatic as it sounds, this whole thing feels like it'll make or break my life. Who knows if it will or not, but time will tell.

    This isn't my first time experiencing the agony of waiting and to my dismay, I know it won't be the last.  If there's a silver lining, perhaps it's a reminder to stay present. I am so often concerned with my future that I forget to live life as it's happening. All I can do is breathe, take a step back, and get through one day at a time. 

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